Psalm 15:2-4 Integrity when it hurts leads to Freedom
She seemed like a pleasant, capable young woman when I hired her. She had a religious upbringing and professed faith in God and the importance of honesty and good deeds. I had opportunity to show many kindnesses to her and after she married, had her and her husband in our home for dinner. I don't really know what changed her but the change was real and ugly in her choice of friends, her language, her attitude and her job performance. It became increasingly evident that she hated God and I was her target. She lied about me to the office staff and undermined me in every possible way. Our offices were in two locations and, as office and personnel manager, I had an office in both buildings. As I walked through the different offices I could feel the tension, hear the whispers, see the suspicious glances. When I said, "Good Morning," she would mimic me in a sarcastic tone. She responded rudely when I gave instructions regarding the work. During the worst period of her attacks, there was a time or two when she needed help and though she accepted my help and favours, her attitude and behaviour did not improve. The quality of her work deteriorated to the point where I knew it was not fair to the Company to continue her employment. But I had to be so careful that none of my personal feelings were involved in discharging her.
At first there was an inner desire to defend myself, to vindicate myself, to prove myself in the right but there was a deeper desire which took over. I knew I had a tongue that could rip her to shreds and leave her a quivering pulp but there was something of greater importance. I had very heavy responsibilities in my job and this was a painful distraction and confusing burden. Yet it was one of my greatest learning experiences.
By God's enabling, I was able to stand back in amazement and watch myself allow God to do the impossible in me, to exchange retaliation for compassion, agitation for poise, recrimination for forgiveness.
An unexpected treasure ... through that trying time, I found a new level of freedom.