Lord, it is my chief complaint
That my love is weak and faint;
Yet I love Thee, and adore;
Oh, for grace to love Thee more!
During the past months God has been intensifying my longing for a deeper intimacy with Him. I cannot get away from Philippians 3:10. I press on to have such a pure, undivided heart that when I retire to secret prayer, I'll know that all Heaven is open above me and as I approach the rainbow-encircled throne, I'm really at the feet of my risen Lord. This must be the focus of all my desire -- that I may increasingly know Him, Jesus, with the opalescent glory-light radiating from His face. (Colossians 2:3) In Him are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge -- hidden so that I may have the thrill of continual discovery and the vivid joy of communion with Him.
The Old Testament tabernacle is one of many types: that I may know Him -- the outer court, the power of His resurrection -- the holy place, the fellowship of His suffering -- the holy of holies.
To know Him and the power of His resurrection is to know that power which declares victory over sin and self and Satan. The One stronger than the strong has come to my rescue and defeated the defeater. To crown Christ in a consecrated heart means real victory over sin and self and Satan. The fellowship of His sufferings is more than brooding on the Cross, although that is included. The world which crucified Him still rejects Him, millions worship false gods and grope in darkness, and Christians are cruelly persecuted. If I learn to live in heart-to-heart communion with Him, I can enter into the fellowship of His present sufferings. Also there is offered to me the richer, deeper joy of fellowship as I follow His path of self-denial. Being conformed to His death is to live in the spirit of Calvary, in the attitude of utter love-obedience to God and self-denying love to others. I need this fellowship with the Lord Jesus to cause transformation in the deepest recesses of my character. I MUST take more time for secret waiting in His presence.
Sidlow Baxter said that our reactions to the sufferings and experiences of life, do something in our character which will endure in the Beyond, fitting us for special ministries in the ages to come. I am impressed with something Alexander Smellie said, "If I really love Him, my innate and persistent selfishness will have received its death blow." (Colossians 1:27) It must be not I but Christ in me; He is my only hope of reflecting the glory of God, in Whose image I was created for that very purpose.
As I was meditating on being conformed to His death, I thought of (Romans 8:29) being conformed to the image of God's dear Son. The Holy Spirit began to show me that these are the same thing. The pathway is obedience and self-denial, with prayer as the very breath of life and the Word of God as continual nourishment. This is Calvary living with never-dreamed-of heights of joy.
Oh Lord, please let nothing hinder me from progressing on this pathway.
Lord, it is my chief complaint
That my love is weak and faint;
Yet I love Thee, and adore;
Oh, for grace to love Thee more!
With love & prayers,